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 A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid

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Madison Reid
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PostSubject: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Wed Jul 27, 2011 3:44 am

Madison apparated into her living room, immediately tripping over a stack of books and landing with a yelp on the floor. She was quick to sit up, but she groaned as she ran her hand from her forehead, through her raven black hair, to the back of her head. Her eyes were clouded, confused, maybe even scared, but her expression showed none of it. Only her eyes. Voices were reaching her mind again, stronger now that she was closer to that acursed mirror. But she couldn't stay in the hideout, not when she was like this. The stench of blood filling her nose, but from no existing source. She stood, and with a flick of her wand, like an explosion, books went flying from the center of the room and hitting all four walls. Now that the path was clear, Madison went and fell to the couch. She leaned forward, resting her face in her hands as she tried to break free of the curse's illusions.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Wed Jul 27, 2011 3:55 am

The sound of flapping wings penetrated the thick silence of the night. Ouriel soared through the window and landed beside Madison's bent form. The size of a rather large dog, he was no less magnificent for it. His gold eyes stared hard at Madison. Having felt the disturbance even from the Leoine's Residence, he came to help one of Alexandra's few friends.
'Why the screams young one?' his voice asked softly in her mind, pushing away the fear and memories for a moment as he took up the fore-front of her mind.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Wed Jul 27, 2011 3:58 am

Madison's muscles grew lax as Ouriel took center attention in her mind, and she mumbled, "Not screaming... not out loud..." She took comfort in the creature's presence, fearing niether judgment or danger from Ouriel. He was a peace-bringer, Madison realized instinctively, and she took a deep breath as she lifted her head to look at the proud Griffin. (Griffin right? Might get my terms mixed up D:)
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Wed Jul 27, 2011 4:10 am

(Yep! A Griffin.)

He solemnly regarded her with a tinge of sadness. For one so young in her years it was difficult for her to have experienced so much pain. But then again, all humans seemed to have suffered the same amount as his kind but compacted to fit their short life span. To realize that was sobering and he did the best he could for Alexandra's friends especially. To heal them would help them heal others in turn.
'Does that make it any better?' he settled down on the couch beside her, folding up his wings so as not to take up too much space.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Wed Jul 27, 2011 4:15 am

"A Little." Though Ouriel was speaking through thoughts, Madison didn't seem willing to do the same. Though the disturbing images and frightening voices had stopped momentarily, she still felt light-headed and her shoulders heavy with burden. "Stumbled across a thorn in a rosebush, you could say." A weak smirk played across her lips; at least she had the strength to joke. She didn't need words to explain anyways. The moment she thought of the dark mirror, it filled her mind, within easy reach of Ouriel. As the griffin got comfortable on the couch, Madison relaxed further.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:35 am

'Marching headfirst into a thorn-bush would be more accurate I think.' Ouriel felt something change in her mind for a moment before he sat down next to her. Screams and memories haunted her step every heart-beat. The place she called home had now become her nightly torture chamber once she was alone. In spite of this, there was a huge part of her resisting the darkness whether through stubbornness and/or encouragement from her friends to keep fighting, it still dimmed as sights and sounds of those who were supposed to love her the most slowly ripped her apart. The youngling, Ouriel pondered, whether she knew it or not, needed as much company from friends as she could get. She probably thought the pain if revealed would drive them away. Perhaps it would not hurt to let Alexandra know that he would not be at their home for at least that night, maybe to invite Madison to stay with them for the coming months.
Yet another question came up. Sure, he could easily find it if he rummaged in her mind, but Alexandra wouldn't like that and it would be an unpleasant experience unless Madison opened up willingly.

'Why do you not answer in thought?'
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:46 am

"I don't want it all to come back... the pain. Suffering." She mumbled in a dead tone. But already, simply thinking about it brought the snake-man's voice back, and her grandfather's... her mother's... and some others. But every voice had some portion of the snake-man's. She knew it was him taunting her, torturing her, yet still she couldn't beat him.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Jul 28, 2011 2:18 am

He was a bit out of his depth here. Usually all the fledglings had their own parents to comfort them or they asked someone else. Ouriel never had exactly considered himself very popular in his clan despite his power. But to sum it all up, he had little to no experience comforting unless the person in pain made it clear what they wanted.
'Do you want to talk?' he asked delicately after some silence.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Jul 28, 2011 2:28 am

"What is there to talk about? I'm a bloody mess, that's all there is to it." She said before taking a deep breath and running her hands through her hair. She could feel the blood that was nonexistant. Hear voices that weren't there. Taste hate she had long left to ashes. She had no mental barriers now. Everything that crossed her mind, both of her doing and dark magic's, was out in the open, exposed. She then stood up and paced the room, biting down on her fingernail as she tried to force strength into her mind.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Jul 28, 2011 3:51 am

With the lack of barriers in Madison's mind, all Ouriel could really do if he wanted to keep up their communication was sit back and feel, see and hear her thoughts. Malicious laughter faded in and out, the light of unforgivable curses flashed, memories of pain and blood pulsated. Ouriel decided that Madison was one of many people who found it difficult to put to words what they wanted. But most creatures hate suffering pain so he would do his best to alleviate it. Since arriving in England, his skills had not been tested greatly and he was rather bored. Even the hunts on Durmstrang caused little enjoyment to him. But even so, he was curious as to what tortured this woman's mind.
Delving a little deeper into her mind, there was a little more resistance than when they spoke. It was the last place a person could hide and Alexandra had to keep reminding him now and again that humans' Occlumency - such ridiculous words for blocking - did not hold a candle to his kind. It was only through extensive training and experience that could make people resist him.
Soothing out the little uneven parts he could, he yet again asked her a question. Ouriel did not seem to talk in sentences as much as questions. 'Are you afraid of your friends knowing this darkness?'
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Fri Jul 29, 2011 12:44 am

Madison grew eary as Ouriel's presence pierced into her mind, but once he had started sorting out her thoughts, she shuddered, but could feel tthe weight lighten a bit. 'They don't need to know. They won't trust me anymore.' Madison flinched as her grandfather's voice aroused, "Filthy Mudbloods.", "You've grown soft, my dear Madison. Do you honestly care for your pathetic excuse of a father?" But then another's, unidentifiable voice, "Must feed... must kill... oh, the color of blood!" It was as though the curse was fighting back, lashing out not only at Madison, but at Ouriel as well.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:22 am

Ouriel pulled out of her mind for a moment, having been unprepared for such an assualt. Quickly erecting a shield around himself, he blocked off the worst of the attack and dove right back into the woman's mind. In order for him to help, he needed to experience some of it with Madison to find out what was suffering from whether it be remorse, shame, guilt or other negative emotions as such. Pushing most of the curse back, her enfolded Madison in his shield. But there was a certain element that had to remain, a snake-like man who hissed wildly.

'Who is this?' it didn't quite feel like Madison's memory but it was too clear an image for it not to be someone's memory at all.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Sun Jul 31, 2011 12:01 pm

"Not who, but what." The snake-man answered wittily. "I'm sure little Madison could tell you if she were in a more... healthy, environment." He watched Madison with amusement.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:28 am

(May I ask what the hell Voldy is talking about?)
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Aug 04, 2011 5:29 am

(haha, 'Voldy'~ xD He's not the real Voldemort obviously. Just a figment of Madison's imaginations. Voldemort is sort of acting as a symbol of Madison's fear, so to speak. She doesn't want to be forced into the DE, doesn't like thinking about her childhood, where she was ALMOST pulled into the DE [thank goodness her grandfather died], and I just figured a snake man would be the most disturbing image for Madison ;3 So when he says not who, but what, its him saying he's not a person, he's a fear :D If dat makes a' any sense at all.)
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:05 am

The griffin felt around the shields he had erected between Madison and the harmful memories with care, not prodding or probing, just tracing along with barrier with care. Not a scratch nor a blemish as far as he could tell, so perhaps the thing wasn't a memory after all but some sort of projection from the woman's subconscious.

'Madison, think of the happiest moment in your life now.' depending on how the snake-like human projection reacted, Ouriel would figure out what part of her drew up this figment of her imagination.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:14 am

Some memories as a professor phased into the background, some of her days starting out in the Order, but none of these memories were clear, like they were unfocused, blurred, and distant even. The man stood there with his wicked smile as Madison tried desperately to obey Ouriel's command. She was but a puppet at this point, but under who's strings?

But then, a more clear memory came in, blurring against the edges of the barrier, voices breaking through, "Mommy! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt all those people!", then her mother's soothing voice cascaded down like a gentle waterfall. "No, hush dear, it's alright. It doesn't matter now. I'll protect you, always." Images of little Madison in her mother's arms phased about; the snake-man hissed in disgust. She really was the spitting image of her mother, all aside from the calm, serene gaze her mother carried in those muddy brown eyes; Madison's gaze was often cold and tormented, sometimes amused, but never such bountiful kindness was visible.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:00 am

He hid a mental groan at the realization that this needed more than mental barriers to permanently rid the woman of this vision. Madison would need to be able to stop the projection on her own for it to be any good at all and that would take a certain amount of self-trust. From the faint blur of all her happy memories except for the greatest one of all, Ouriel deduced that she would need external help to first gain that self-confidence and trust before embarking to bring down her inner-demons.
That would not be a task the Griffin was suited to at ALL. But he could buy the woman some time before she had to face her self-loathing and fears again. It would be a delicate task however... Ouriel had never had to do this before, much less in a human's mind.

Gathering up all the scraps of the self-doubt as he could, Ouriel shoved it through and out of the barrier before retreating back in quickly, not letting any bad memories get back in. She would know they were hidden and what they were, but the devices for the images in her head were 'locked in chains' so to speak.

By this time, the ethereal 'snake-man' was faint but still attempting to rip Madison to shreds with ghostly hands and sickly memories. 'Push him towards me, Madison.' he directed quietly and evenly. It was not a soothing, loving voice but it was a familiar voice that was gentle enough in tone. Ouriel needed to block out the last scraps of Madison's pain to be effective.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:11 am

His command, at first was not fully satisfied. Yes, the snake-man had screeched and stumbled bacck from Madison, but it had only lasted a moment, only a second. "You can't contain me! You cannot escape the darkness! Cannot escape your hate, your lust, your darkness!" But then her mother voice looped again in that happy memory, and slowly, within the barrier, Madison struggled to her feet. The snake-man was being pushed away by Madison's emotions, towards the very creature who would establish order in her chaotic mind.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:25 am

Once Madison started to push the projection away herself, it fainted greatly, proving to Ouriel that it was truly the woman herself who needed to find some sort of inner peace herself. Ignoring that trail of thought for the moment, the Griffin helped her push the creature through the barrier along with any remnant of it's existence, taking only a few seconds to then strengthen the barriers as much as he could without cutting her off from her past completely. If Ouriel did so, the projections would indeed be trapped forever, but all her memories, happy or sad would vanish from her grasp. But this compromise would not hold forever and a few years, maybe even months later, Madison would have to face her fears once more.

'How do you feel?' he murmured as he checked the shields gently.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:31 am

'The voices are gone...' She couldn't seem to acknowledge her own feelings, so that was the best answer she had. She just sat there, on the couch, her hair falling over her face as her arm went limp in her lap, 'Thank you.' The thoughts had slipped out before she'd even had a chance to consider them. She was too stiff, too tired, too broken to take anything back. In her right mind she would have known a sign of gratefulness would have been appropriate, but the Madison sitting there on the couch, brain fried and shoulders sagged, no, she wasn't aware of such pleasantries.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:58 am

'You are welcome.' he replied with the smallest increments of pride dotting his tone. His first attempt at dealing with the human mind at depth seemed to be highly successful and for that he was glad. And also, Ouriel had remembered to reply with the customary sign of gratification between humans. It was easier among the griffins since the 'thankful' emotions from each other were easy enough to read. But for humans, who's communication was oral rather than mental, it was more important.
Ouriel withdrew from her mind gently, closing all the shields and stabilizing them as he surfaced to the basic level of communication in her mind with all the barriers sealed and in place. Not a memory nor haunting fear had passed him and for that, weeks would be added on to how long it took for the shields to wear down.

He ruffled his feathers for warmth and stretched over the couch, providing her comfort with his heat and physical presence. That was one of the few things that most sentient creatures shared.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:04 am

Madison actually tensed as Ouriel stretched across the couch. Unlike most, Madison kept her distance when she was broken down like this. In other words, she crept farther back into her shell rather than reach out for comfort. With comfort came pity, and with pity came shame. Madison had a very simple, one track mind right now, "You do not need to keep me company if it displeases you." Her gaze was fixated ahead, towards the other side of the room, as though she were blind or wanted to avoid looking at anything in particular.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:07 am

'Why would it displease me?' he was genuinely curious as to why this woman told him that. Ouriel wondered whether she was uncomfortable with the fact he had entered so deeply into her mind to help. It seemed that way with all the humans he encountered, but never before had it been merited with such a response.
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PostSubject: Re: A Mess Within a Mind, Unable to Avoid   Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:14 am

'Did you not see the horrid things inside my mind? I can't imagine anyone simply turning a blind eye on all of that.' Though Madison hadn't had a full awareness of what had happened, she felt very exposed. She wasn't sure what the griffin had accessed, but anyone who knew her as well as she did wouldn't stand to even look at her.

(Hehe, too bad maddy doesn't know herself well at all xD)
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